5 things people with a strong core self do

Developing a strong core self is the holy grail of my professions therapy and coaching because so many benefits come from possessing one. The simple truth is that life is easier when we know and like who we are, and when we think positively of ourselves and are confident in our abilities. In this post, we look at just 5 things that people with a strong core self do.

1. They trust themselves

…to say the right things and to do the right things. This is because people with a strong core self know when they are sure of themselves and when they are not. When they are not, they will ask, defer to or get feedback from others. As a result they rarely if ever get out of their depth or make a fool of themselves by pretending to be someone they are not or knowing something they do not. When they are sure of themselves it will only be through extensive learning and practicing, where their certainty has been validated by others with the qualifications to do so.

2. They form strong, positive relationships

…because they don’t stay in toxic or unequal relationships for long enough. Anyone seeking only gain from others will be unable to form a meaningful attachment to someone with a strong, core self. Whatever they appear to offer in the form of attention or materiality will be seen for what it is – self-interest and control. People with well-developed core selves value themselves and only share with those who reciprocate. And criticism intended to hurt and belittle does not penetrate long enough to matter.

3. They act

…because they have the confidence to turn good ideas into real ones. Someone with a strong core self never leaves a good idea on the drawing board because they believe their ideas possess value, which they commit to bringing to the world because it doesn’t make sense not to. They use their imaginations to visualise how ideas can be made real, in contrast to people with poorly developed core selves, whose ideas remain trapped in their imagination because they lack the confidence to act on them.

4. They thrive and survive

…by creating a self-perpetuating, virtuous circle for themselves. They know who they want to be in the world and what they want to do in it, which leads them to find ways of being who they are and doing what they want to do. Unlike people with poorly developed core selves, they don’t undermine their ability to thrive and survive by engaging in self-destructive behaviours, because doing so is illogical.

5. They remain appropriately calm

…because all of the above trigger the part of the nervous systems that induces calm. Known as the Relaxation Response, this is the opposite part to the Fight, Flight or Freeze Response. Possessing a strong core self means someone only switches on their Fight, Flight or Freeze Response appropriately i.e. when there is genuine threat. The unfamiliar and the new are deliberately sought out and embraced as opportunities and are not seen as threats to be avoided. This approach to life keeps their Relaxation Response switched on – and this makes life calm.

Do you want to develop a strong core self?

“I contacted Mark, so that I could explain to a professional person the challenges I was facing after my divorce. I wish I had done this much sooner as Mark’s advice has given me the means to deal with the negative thoughts that occupied my mind, feeling a weight had been lifted. Mark has helped me achieve significantly more piece of mind in six weeks than I’ve been able to do in six years. His help has allowed me to come to terms with and accept the past. He has given me the means to handle situations more confidently and enhanced my self belief. I have a lot to thank you for.” Rob G

If you feel the time has come to develop your core self, then we’d love to hear from you. Like Rob, we have worked with hundreds of clients, helping them to build a stronger version of themselves.