Self-defeating behaviours and how to overcome them

The Cave or Continuation Point is the point at which a new, positive behaviour or habit comes up against and clashes with an old, problematic behaviour or habit someone wishes to get rid of. Which behaviour or habit wins out will depend on how someone thinks, behaves, feels and forms their relationships at their Cave and Continuation Point. Will they ‘Continue‘ with the new behaviour or habit, or will they ‘Cave’ into the old one?

The Cave and Continuation Point idea allows someone to understand what factors made them vulnerable to the old behaviour or habit in the first place, and helps them to understand what they need now to overcome it.

Coaching and therapy: A Conversation With Impact (video)

No one goes into coaching or therapy expecting to come out the same as they went in. And yet for these forms of support to achieve this outcome, they need to deliver. And what they need to deliver is a Conversation With Impact. A Conversation With Impact is, simply, one that makes the difference someone is after. In our latest video, we talk about makes a Conversation With Impact and how you can have one too. If your existing conversations are not making the difference you are after, then why not get in touch? With over 15 years of experience, there is a good chance we can make the difference you are after.

Addictions compulsions obsessions (video)

In my video, I suggest why the idea of ‘value’ offers both an explanation and a resolution to such destructive lifestyles. In recent months I have supported the following clients, so I know these are very real issues for people in their professional lives.

– an HR Director with drug addiction
– a company director with obsessive safety routines
– a software engineer with compulsive eating habits
– a civil engineer with an addiction to overspending
– an FD with excessive alcohol consumption

With all of the above clients, my Valuables Test was successful in helping them turn their lives around.

Personal Branding – a life changing story

In November 2019, I started to work with Simon, a former Royal Engineer in the British Army. Five years previously, Simon had been medically discharged from the Army following an injury sustained in his duties. Those five years were hard, very hard. Being a soldier was all Simon had ever wanted to be. “I knew that when I was in nappies.” Like many armed forces personnel, Simon’s mental health deteriorated markedly upon leaving the army, a situation made all the worse because he hadn’t left out of choice.

In this post, we tell the story of how Personal Branding helped to turn Simon’s life around.

How video games can help in therapy

To some it might seem odd to think of video games as possessing therapeutic value, while to others is makes perfect sense. In actual fact, it is not a new idea and there has been research for a decade or more suggesting how gaming can help people in a range of ways. This blog draws on our own experience at Conversations With Impact utilising gaming in therapy.

Personal Transformation and how to achieve it

Personal Transformation is the process by which we change aspects of who we are and what we do. It is the journey – ‘I am transforming’ – and the destination ‘I am transformed’. Engaging in Personal Transformation is a statement of positive intent. It marks the point at which we say to ourselves ‘Who I am is not who I want to be’ and ‘What I am doing is not what I want to be doing’. It is a deliberate and active commitment to get us to the point when we can say ‘I am who I want to be, and I am doing what I want to be doing.’

5 things people with a strong core self do

Developing a strong core self is the holy grail of my professions therapy and coaching because so many benefits come from possessing one. The simple truth is that life is easier when we know and like who we are, and when we think positively of ourselves and are confident in our abilities. In this post, we look at just 5 things that people with a strong core self do.

New boundaries for old partners: Steve’s story

A recent client, who I shall call Steve, sits in front of me, head in his hands, and tells me this has been one of the worst weeks since we started working together. He can’t explain it. Things had been going so well. I’d seen Steve a week previously, so I asked him to start with the day of that session and work forwards. Steve looks to the ceiling and utters a series of ‘Thursday was ok’, ‘Friday was fine’, ‘Yes, Saturday was ok’ and so on until he gets to Sunday evening. Recalling Sunday evening, Steve looks me in the eye, and says ‘Boundaries. Ugh! You keep telling me about the importance of boundaries.’

Using time travelling in coaching and therapy

Human beings exist in time and who we are and what we do is characterised by it. In my work, I have long held the view that our brains can be thought of as time machines, which are geared up to operate simultaneously in our past, present and future. Indeed, modern neuroscience suggests this is the case.

One of the main functions of our brains is in the generation of emotions. Emotions are messages, which help us to understand why things are as they are in our lives. It makes sense therefore to think of our emotions from a time perspective and this is what this blog is about.

5 things people who find self-acceptance do

Self-acceptance is the state of complete acceptance of oneself. True self-acceptance is embracing who you are, without any qualifications, conditions, or exceptions.” The ability to accept one’s qualities or attributes, be they positive or negative, is another definition. By achieving self-acceptance, we are making a positive contribution to our mental health and wellbeing. Put bluntly, self-acceptance makes life easier and in this blog, we look at 5 things that people who accept themselves do.