Six ways to make the life you want

My blog, Six ways to make the life you want, is not one of those blogs that say making the life you want is easy. Instead, this blog is grounded in the reality that life consists of ups and downs. As a coach, therapist and ordinary human being, I know that what many of us come to appreciate is the ability to maximise positive periods and minimise challenging ones. Life experience tells us that with this ability, the overall trajectory of our lives will be in the right direction when we realise that good times do follow bad ones and not just the other way around. If you recognise this reality, then my blog is for you.

How to understand and overcome depression

Depression is one of the most common forms of mental illness – maybe you have been depressed or know someone who has – and can be mild, moderate or severe. It is associated with various symptoms, such as negative thoughts, emptiness, irritability, and suicidal thoughts and actions in extreme cases. While there are different types of depression, the most common form is ‘reactive depression’, where someone experiences depression due to adverse and challenging life events such as divorce or redundancy. In this blog, I offer six different perspectives on reactive depression so you can better understand and overcome it.

Negative thinking and how to overcome it

Negative thinking refers to patterns of thinking negatively about who we are, what we do and the life we lead. Some negative thinking is normal and, as we shall see, helpful, but when it dominates, when the thoughts come thick and fast, it can often indicate an underlying mental health condition. This blog will offer you some ideas, perspectives and approaches to thinking about and overcoming ‘negative thinking’.

Self-care: 7 ways to practise it positively

As the importance of positive mental health and wellbeing becomes recognised more widely, so are the ways we can achieve it. One way is through self-care, a concept that has become both popular and significant. Self-care is an individual, conscious commitment to think, behave, feel and relate in ways that support our mental health and wellbeing. It is both intrapersonal, i.e. mental activity and interpersonal, i.e. relating to and involving other people. Self-care is more than just a spa day but a lifelong commitment, and in this post, I share seven ways you can practise it.

Workplace Burnout – Without The Boom!

Workplace burnout has become one of the mental health issues of our time, with estimates of around 50% of people in the UK experiencing it according to a recent Forbes article. Despite the seriousness of the condition, people can and do go on to make a complete recovery, and in this case study, I talk about my work with Emma (not her real name) and how my IMPACT Model enabled her to go from a very dark place to a very good one.

4 steps to a healthier lifestyle

Research statistics continue to show that many people in the UK have unhealthy lifestyles despite the government and other organisations spending vast sums on health promotion. What does this tell us? It tells us what we already know: that human beings are very susceptible to unhealthy lifestyles for many well-known reasons:

– A lack of awareness
– A lack of motivation
– A lack knowledge
– Stressful lives
And yet, many people ARE successfully achieving a healthier lifestyle. How they achieve this is the subject of this post.

Understanding emotions: solving the mystery

Often what motivates clients to contact a coach or therapist is that they cannot understand – make sense of – why things are as they are. They might know they are stuck or in difficulty, but the ‘why’ is shrouded in mystery. Before seeking professional support, clients will often spend a lot of time trying to work things out by themselves or with their existing support network. This often results in a wild goose chase of looking in all the wrong places. Exhausted and demoralised, they pick up the phone to a coach or therapist.

What if there was an easier way to make sense of why things are as they are? Well, there is an easier way: understanding emotions, which is the subject of this post and extract from my upcoming book How To Transform Your Life With IMPACT: Unlock The Best Of You.

How to have great therapy

When someone decides to speak to a therapist, they are commenting on their existing conversations, and that is, they are not making the difference they are after. If they were, they wouldn’t be talking to the therapist. The reason therapists exist is to give us what our existing support network can’t or won’t. A client leaving a therapy session must be able to say, ‘That was exactly what I needed. No one I know could or would have talked to me that way.’

A therapist’s job is to give someone a Conversation With Impact because only these result in the personal breakthroughs we need to achieve good mental health and wellbeing. In this post, I look at how you can make sure your therapist does this for you.

Personal boundaries – are yours in place?

A personal boundary can be considered anything that we ask others to respect. They exist as the individual rules, guidelines, moral and ethical principles, which determine how we act in the relationships we form. We create them in the mental and physical space we share with people, from fleeting moments of interaction to lifelong commitments.

Examples of boundaries include:

– Physical: our body, personal space and possessions
– Emotional: what we feel strongly about, what upsets us and excites us
– Sexual/intimate: sexual preferences, consent to touch
– Intellectual: our opinions, beliefs and values
– Financial: money and other forms of wealth and value
– Professional: work/life balance

Trauma – an understanding

According to the mental health charity MIND, trauma is when ‘we experience stressful, frightening or distressing events.’ As has become evident during the covid crisis, trauma has become a contemporary issue. From the direct impact of covid itself to its indirect effects such as redundancy, homelessness, and domestic violence, there is a pressing need for individuals, families, employees, and employers to be aware of trauma, its effects, and how to respond to it.