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Dealing with Unresolved Issues from the Past – Conversations With Impact

As we age and begin to lose loved ones from our lives, unresolved issues have a tendency to surface. Often, problems arise from past conflict between spouses, or parents and children, which were never brought to a close or effectively dealt with at the time. Sometimes, such issues can lay hidden until we are faced with a difficult or traumatic situation. Sadly, it’s not until we lose someone, or we have to start caring for their needs, that long-standing issues start to emerge. If you suddenly find yourself in the role of ‘carer’, you may experience a mix of emotions including sadness, guilt, anger, resentment and even bitterness, despite your genuine love for that person. These emotions can turn into anxiety issues, an inability to deal with stress, or you may find yourself suffering from low self-esteem or depression.

How does your brain deal with a difficult trauma?

We know there are mechanisms in our brains and bodies for processing – getting rid of – trauma because many people often fully or significantly recover from all types of trauma. Sometimes these mechanisms are explained in concrete, scientific terms e.g. the interplay between different parts of the brain, and sometimes they appear to defy explanation when trauma disappears, as if by magic. What’s not in doubt though is the fact that mechanisms do exist. This article looks at examples from my own therapeutic practice to better understand the way our brains deal with trauma.

5 Tips for Choosing a Trauma Therapist

When you’re trying to come to terms with a past – or present – trauma, it can be difficult to find the right trauma therapist. You may find it hard to confide in others, so to share your experiences with a stranger can often feel quite frightening. Therefore, the therapist you choose needs to be able to win your trust and you need to feel comfortable talking to that person. There are a lot of factors to consider when you are looking for a therapist, so in this article, we highlight five tips to help you make the right decision when it comes to choosing a suitable therapist:

Stuck in a rut? Simple ways to start moving forward

You’ve probably heard the term ‘goals’ being used in relation to different forms of coaching, but what do we actually mean by this? Setting a goal is the first step towards moving forward with your life. Your goal is wholly personal to you; it might relate to a relationship, your family, career or your business. Goals help you to achieve your future plans – for example, you might want to retire early, or you might be looking for a better work-life balance, so you can spend more time with family. Sometimes when we look at the steps we need to achieve what we really want out of life, it can feel very daunting.

Managing Food Cravings and Bad Eating Habits

It’s that time of year again when people make those New Year’s resolutions to keep fit and go on a diet. And, it’s usually not long before people fall back into bad habits. Why does this happen? After all, most of us know what we should and should not eat. There’s more than enough nutritional advice out there online… So, why DO most diets FAIL? Bad eating habits are not just about the food we eat – it’s about the way we eat and the frequency. Do you know the real reason behind your problem eating?

Tis the Season to be Jolly? Surviving family stress at Christmas

For many people, Christmas can be a very stressful time of year. It’s a time when families come together and, when some people just don’t get along, the festive season can be fraught as tensions rise. Relationships can feel strained under the pressure: it is no surprise that divorce rates tend to peak at this time of year. Combined with the fact that you are likely to be rushing around trying to buy presents and get ready for Christmas Day, stress levels can reach an all-time high. So, how do you survive the festive period? We provide some helpful points to consider below:

7 Golden Rules for Finding the Right Therapist

You’ve accepted the need to trust another human being – a therapist – with details so personal you wouldn’t share them with anyone else. But how do you know whether you have found the right therapist? If this is a new area for you, you probably won’t have any expectations or benchmarks to be able to compare one therapist with another. In this article, we provide seven tips as a guide to help you choose the right therapist for you:

Do you struggle with binge eating or other bad eating habits?

These days, the pressure to be slim and healthy can feel overwhelming at times. Whether you find yourself staring longingly at idealised images of celebrities in glossy magazines or on social media, it can feel like a battle sometimes to eat properly. This isn’t helped by the general busyness of our day-to-day lives. Have you ever rushed around a supermarket after work, picking up convenience meals only to find yourself feeling guilty at the check-out aisle? Not only can the gaze of others make us feel self-conscious, it can also increase the negative impact on our eating habits as we start feeling despondent – “I just can’t be bothered anymore”. If you’re always on a diet, obsessed with your bathroom scales, then it’s likely you may also worry about fitting into your clothes. Whether it’s a tight-fitting pair of work trousers or a reluctance to buy new clothes in larger sizes – “I’ll treat myself to some new clothes once I lose some weight” – you never quite seem to lose the weight you want. And yet we easily part with money to buy the latest technology, bag or pair of shoes, but we don’t seem to place the same value on our own health.

Is your use of social media damaging your mental wellbeing?

t feels as if everyone is on social media these days. There is a vast array of networks which allow us to share our thoughts with an ever widening audience at the click of a button. Of course, there are benefits. Social mobility continues to increase and our closest school friends could now be thousands of miles away. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter allows us to share news and continue to participate in their lives in a completely new way. We don’t even have to buy a stamp to stay in touch. Unfortunately, widening access also has a downside.

Do you have the confidence to take on the world?

How would you describe your level of self-esteem? Do you have enough confidence to deal with your day to day life fairly easily? We’re all experts at spotting people with high self-esteem. They seem to have an astonishing level of confidence that leaves the rest of us wondering what the secret is. Of course, an apparently confident person could be putting on a good show. There aren’t many of us who don’t have worries or insecurities of some kind. We all have a ‘fantasy-reality gap’ that reflects the difference between how our live actually is and how we’d like it to be. The real question is how large that gap is and how we cope with it. It can have a powerful effect on our self-esteem.